Skip to main content

Kuwadradong Mundo


Nakatanaw na naman ako sa may kalawakan na para bang may hinihintay. Gabi-gabi ay ito ang gawain ko. Napakatahimik ng kapaligiran at tanging mga kuliglig lamang at tiktak ng orasan ang naririnig. Ni hindi ko nga namalayan na alas-dose na pala ng hating-gabi.

Puyat na naman ako, pero ayos lang. Mas gusto kong manatiling gising habang ang lahat ay natutulog na. Gusto kong lasapin ang katahimikan ng mundo dahil doon ko lamang mas nakikita ang angking kagandahan nito.

Tumingala ako at minalas ang kalangitaan. ‘Di gaya kagabi, ngayon ay mabibilang mo lamang ang mga bituin at sa ‘di mawaring kadahilanan ay nakadama ako ng kalungkutan. Unti-unting nanumbalik ang mga masasaya at malulungkot na pangyayari sa aking buhay. Napabuntong-hininga ako sabay sambit sa aking sarili, “Pagod na ako.”

Pakiramdam ko ay wala na akong patutunguhan pa. Para bang wala ng pagbabago ang buhay ko. Nakakulong na ako sa kuwadrado kong mundo, kung saan ang lahat ng aking gawain ay tila naka-programmed, na dito sa mundo ko na ang kilos ko na lamang ay sa apat na kanto nito. Wala na akong kontrol sa sarili kong buhay, wala akong mapagpilian dahil ganon at ganon rin naman ang nangyayari.

Nang biglang may dumaan na bulalakaw… imbes na humiling ako rito ay unti-unting tumulo ang luha sa aking mga mata. “Sana nga totoo ang tungkol sa bulalakaw". Disinsana’y napawi na ang sakit at pagod na aking nararamdaman .” Unti-unti na akong nilalamon ng kalungkutan ng mga oras na iyon. Nais kong matulog na upang makalimutan ang lahat ng problema ko kahit panandalian lamang, ngunit hindi ako dalawin ng antok. Nasanay na kasi ako ng ganito.

Masyado nang magulo ang akinh isipan. Ibig kong makipag-usap kahit kanino upang maibsan man lamang ang bigat na aking nararamdaman, ngunit alam kong hindi nila susubukin. Lagi na lamang akong mag-isa sa pagharap sa mga problema ko ngunit ayos lang, sanay na naman akong mag-isa. Alam kong malalagpasan ko rin lahat ito ng ako lamang at wala nang iba pang makakaalam. Tanging ang kadiliman ng gabi at ang mga bituin lamang ang saksi ng bawat pagluha at pighati ko.

Ngayon, heto na naman ako. Lumuluha rito sa apat na sulok ng aking silid. Kinuha ko ang isang diary sa ilalim na aking unan at nagsimula akong sumulat. Eto… eto ang mundo ko… ang kuwarto at ang diary ko.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Black Sheep

The night was getting deeper as I trudged along the dark alley leading to the apartment. The misty air and the stillness of the night bring back memories of the past. Memories that I have put on the back burner for a long time now. Memories that served as an envenom that is slowly killing and eating me wholly. Then rain drops started falling and before I knew it, thoughts kept flooding rapidly together with the rain. It’s the first day of my Senior year. I can’t describe the excitement I am feeling as my dad pulled over our Chevrolet in the school’s driveway. I hurriedly gave a peck on dad’s right cheek and went down to meet my friends and gave each other some updates on our summer vacation. The bell rang and we sped up to our rooms and faced our books. Another dreadful year in school again, but at least this will be my last year in High school. I am Eunice, the only daughter of two of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country. An average girl living a grandiose life. I was bo...
8 comments
Read more

From Capeside to Cruise’s Heart

W ho would forget the girl-next-door from Dawson ’s Creek? Dawson ’s best chum who then became Pacey’s love interest. The bubbly, green-eyed girl in the titular waterway at Capeside who usually sports a tank top with matching faded jeans. And the naïve girl who sang Les Miserable’s “On my own” in her school in a squeaky, little voice. Yes, I’m pertaining to no other than Joey Potter, better known as Katie Holmes in real life. And this teeny bopper has actually transformed herself into a full grown actress, future Mrs. Cruise and a mom to be on her child from the latter. Katie Noelle Holmes was born and raised in Toledo , Ohio . And having been brought up in the country side probably gave an edge to her in portraying the role of Josephine Potter naturally. Also, during an interview by E! with the Holmes family, mom Kathleen referred Katie, the youngest in the brood in five, as the one who is the most headstrong that she even had to go out and buy some books which tackles...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Fallacy on Homosexual Relationships: Is it Love or Lust?

It is still difficult to fathom why Homosexual love exists because since time immemorial it has been branded that Homosexuality is immoral and plainly wrong. Others relate Homosexual love to lust thus giving an impression that God strongly condemns this affection because lust is considered one of the seven capital sins which was later manifested through the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah. Others blatantly pronounced this act as ethically wrong and strongly stand on their views that there is no such thing as love between persons of the same sex and gays only misunderstood their sexual desire to love to give justification on their relationships. On the other hand, supporters of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexuals strongly articulate that such belief are nothing else but narrow mindedness and arrogance. Perhaps the first thing that one must determine in order to assert if Same-sex love is promiscuous is the question of Homosexuality. Some believe that “anything unnatural is sinful, and that ho...
Post a Comment
Read more