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Alpha and Omega


Sitting here on my bed inside my room, I suddenly felt the urge to sleep because I’ve been up for almost a week now beating deadlines and fixing things that are needed to be done. I saw my multi-hued calendar and tore a page of it to reveal the real month for today. Duh! My emotional side struck again, sometimes I hate this feeling. It’s already March and I can’t hide the fact that I’m feeling kind of strange for the reason that I don’t know.


Out of the blue, I just took out all my albums and started scanning its pages. (Sigh) Here I go again…my album contains all my pictures since I started schooling, from Nursery up to now that I’m already in 4th Year College. Imagine, 17 years of studying, can you visualize how many pictures I have by now?

Every picture tells a story and it’s so funny to look back then. The transformations that I’ve undergone, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally were really amazing. As I closed my album which I also consider the “Book of My Life”, I felt tears welling from my eyes, and before I can I hold it back, I felt a hot tear rolled down my cheek.

I turned off the lights and lie on my bed to catch some rest and to forget the memories that keeps on flooding my mind, but the Glow in the Dark stars all over my room keeps me awake. Sheeshh…Our graduation is fast approaching.

I know you might say that this would again be another article that talks about leaving our dear institution and you’re definitely right. But do you know what makes this article different from the others? Well I wrote this one not for the sake of having something to pass for this last issue of ours, but because ever since I joined The Red Lily, I’ve been always looking forward in writing an article that talks about my four years stay here in Siena. And this is it! Maybe my last article for The Red Lily also. Aww!!! I don’t want to think about it anymore.

When I first entered our school, I asked myself if I really want to study here. Would I be able to get along well with the people here? What kind of clique would I be belong? What would be my College years like? These were just some of the questions that keep on bugging me as I first set my foot at the College Building on the 9th day of June 1999.

Now, I almost lost track of time. I haven’t noticed it’s been four years already since that scenario happened. It seem as though it was just yesterday when we exchanged his and hellos with our classmates and formed a whole gang out of it. The four years of dreadful assignments, examinations, projects and productions were really exhausting yet fun. So many things that we’ve experienced and eventually learned in the process.

I could still remember our clique’s first misunderstanding that really created a big gap between us. I could say that I have nice set of friends and friendship and it’s only but natural to fight over things and issues that made our bonding even stronger. I just thank God because after all those misunderstandings that we’ve undergone, we still stayed as friends. You just don’t know what kind of problems my friends and I have gone through, and if you’d know all of them, I’m pretty much sure you’d wonder why we’re all still friends after everything that had happened.

And now, I can’t believe that we all have to part ways. I know this is not goodbye for us, but I also do know that it would take too long before all our paths cross again. Some may go out of the country and some would be left behind, we might go on different fields and the chance of meeting again may be a little bit possible.

Honestly, I want to stop the clock from running out the time, for every minute that’s consumed only means that our days here in our school are numbered already. Sans hypocrisy, how would I be able to forget our institution that taught me almost everything there is in the world? The institution that made me who I am now. The institution that let me experienced different things. And the institution that became the witness of my successes and failures.

It may sound so funny but I really don’t want to graduate yet, but I have to and I need to. Now is the time to face the real world, this time a new and different world that’s much challenging and scarier than what was taught in school. I’m quite scared because I don’t know if I’m well armed enough to go to the battlefield alone. At this moment, I know I need to be more independent because whatever decision I’ll make would be my destiny so I have to decide sensibly.

Four years in College… so short yet I was able to had a taste of almost everything you could ever imagine. I’m not an A student nor the Life of the Party, I’m just a simple girl who’s always willing to take risk in everything I do and that’s what’s essential in life. You should know how to take risk sometimes. Our school may not be the best school there is, I don’t even know why I studied here, but maybe God has His own reason and that reason is for me to LEARN and GROW not only as an individual but a human.

I’ll surely miss the hallways, classrooms, restrooms, canteen, students, professors and all the personnel here. I feel very privileged to be a part of The Red Lily because I got the chance to share my thoughts to my fellow Sienans. Being an Editor for this School Paper also added excitement to my College years. I really felt nostalgic as I was writing this article because I know this would be my last article. I would really miss writing for you guys.

And as I bid farewell to this paper with a pang of sadness inside, I also do know that this would again be another start of my journey in life and search for meaning.

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TULDOK

Paano ba ako magsisimula...kung di lang dahil sa'yo, di ko ito gagawin...kilala mo naman ako pagdating sa pagsusulat… pagawa mo na lahat sa akin huwag lang ang sumulat…pero dahil special ka kaya heto nagpapakatrying hard ako. Sana mag enjoy ka sa pagbabasa. Tinanong kita noon, kung maaalala mo pa. Sabi ko, “Ano bang gusto mo?” . Sumagot ka agad, “Gawan mo ko ng article.” Sabi ko sa sarili ko ang hirap naman. Paano ako susulat para sa katulad mong isang henyo sa pagsusulat. Baka laitin mo lang ang piece ko. Pero sanay na ako sa mga panlalait mo, actually sabi mo nga di mo naman ako nilalait, nagsasabi ka lang ng totoo. Tanggap ko na talagang pagdating sa pag express ng feeling ay mahina ako mapa oral o written man. Sanay naman akong sumulat, iyon nga lang pagsagot sa email sa office at sa daddy ko. Kung minsan nga pinapacheck ko pa sa’yo mga e mails ko para siguradong tama bago ko ipadala. Alam mo ba habang ginagawa ko to ngayon kausap kita sa phone. Nagagalit ka kapag di ako sumas...