It’s been barely a year since I first saw you. There you were wearing your olive green jacket. You glanced my way but I wasn’t really sure if you even noticed me.
Well, sure enough, you saw me but you really didn’t see me. My friend has told me so many things about you. That you already have someone special in your life and that with that looks you have, it’s pretty obvious that you’re a player.
It’s very rare that you visit the floor and whenever you do, I can’t keep myself from standing to search every bay and post to see whose PC you’re fixing this time. Am I mean or what? Because sometimes I wish that all the computers in the floor would all crash down so I’ll get to see you the whole day and you’ll never hide again in your secret hideout.
But there came a time that I told myself to stop dreaming about you because you’re just too impossible for me, besides I also have someone special in my life so what’s the point of yearning for you. After all, you don’t even know that I exist.
Time fleetingly passed by and nothing’s changed. Every time I see you, my heart still skips a beat and I feel the urge to come up and talk to you but I was too afraid thinking that with such busy schedule that you have, you don’t have the time in your hands to talk to someone whom you don’t even know. I’ve been thinking of smiling at you whenever our eyes meet but I was too paranoid thinking that when I do, you’ll see in my eyes the feelings I’ve been keeping inside. I know you have caught me so many times catching stolen glances at you so I assumed you already know that I do like you.
Well, it must be true that “Whenever God closes a door, He opens a window”. Because you suddenly came into my life just in time. But…did I also came just in time or am I wrong timing again?
Everything started with that 7 hued arch in the sky every after the rain, and that’s what exactly you are to me. Yes, you’re my rainbow after the rain. You turned my gloomy sky into a colorful one. But still, there’s this certain fear that keeps me from believing that you’re for real. See, your love life was in a shamble that time and I don’t want to meddle in a situation like that anymore, I guess I’ve had enough of it. I’m scared to think that like the rainbow, you’ll also vanish into thin air after bringing color into my sky.
And who would’ve thought that fairy tales could still come true? I’ve already set aside that dream of mine before but everything went against it just when I’m about to curse that thing they call LOVE.
Now, you’re here, in front of me, I know I’m into a deep fall again and though how many times I tried reiterating to myself that you won’t see me the way I see you, still I gave in. Sometimes I want to slap myself for me to wake up from this dream of mine, for this illusion might just turn out to be a disillusion after again another month or so.
Actually I want to thank the person who broke my heart before, for if it weren’t for her, I won’t be able to feel the ecstasy you’ve been giving me. If it weren’t for her you won’t even notice that I exist because of my non-stop whining about her.
Well, everything happened so fast, in just a span of 2 months we’re already inseparable. I must have done something good in the past for having you in my life right now. Who would have thought that a poor girl like me who’s just contented in loving you from afar would actually get the chance to know you, tell you I love you and be with you. Miracle or whatever you want to say, all I know is that you are my DREAM COME TRUE.
But still, there’s this certain fear. A fear that I might lose you someday. Yes I love you and so do you, but there’s this particular thing that keeps us from getting too much involved with each other. No strings attached as what they usually call it.
I know I am into another tear-jerking situation again but I love you and I’m willing to wait for you. I know how weary I am already for all the heartaches I’ve been through, I’ve had enough of my “begging attention days”. Been there, done that. Don’t worry, I can handle this, I really love hurting myself, I think it’s becoming one of my favorite hobbies already.
Yes, you’re not mine and I don’t have all the rights in the world to ask where you are, where you’ve been and who’s with you. After all, it’s just ME…I’ll just be deaf in everything I hear, I’ll just be blind in everything that I see and I’ll just be numb in everything that I feel. Yes, numb! That’s what I already am.
Well, I just want you to know how much I treasure you. You’re not mine, I know, but I still believe that someday time will come that you’ll turn my dream into an official reality.I also hope that one day, I’ll just wake up and find out that you’re already ready to stand for what you feel without extra baggage with you. I’ll wait no matter how long it would take…I’ll wait.
But please don’t make my waiting like an eternity. Because the least thing I would want to happen is getting tired after everything and then finding out you’re all set again to make everything official. And for the nth time, I’m telling you this, I’m not the person who easily gets tired of someone especially if the person is just too special like you. I hate waiting but for you I will make an exemption. You know I’m just here, and anytime you want to meet me and make everything all right, don’t hesitate to go. I’ll just be still and wait here in our meeting place. For now, I’ll just stay here and wait till you come and tell me that you’re now ready to spend the rest of your life with me.