The Black Sheep

The night was getting deeper as I trudged along the dark alley leading to the apartment. The misty air and the stillness of the night bring back memories of the past. Memories that I have put on the back burner for a long time now. Memories that served as an envenom that is slowly killing and eating me wholly. Then rain drops started falling and before I knew it, thoughts kept flooding rapidly together with the rain.

It’s the first day of my Senior year. I can’t describe the excitement I am feeling as my dad pulled over our Chevrolet in the school’s driveway. I hurriedly gave a peck on dad’s right cheek and went down to meet my friends and gave each other some updates on our summer vacation. The bell rang and we sped up to our rooms and faced our books. Another dreadful year in school again, but at least this will be my last year in High school.

I am Eunice, the only daughter of two of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country. An average girl living a grandiose life. I was born with a silver spoon. I live in a grand house in one of the plush villages in our place. I have lived a sheltered life, away from the harsh reality of the world out there.

And he’s Vincent, my long time crush for as long as I can remember. We have been studying in the same school ever since Grade school and even though we have been seat mates for so many years now, still, for him, I don’t even exist. He never even uttered a single word to me, just a few forceful smiles whenever our eyes meet in the school’s hallways. He was the school’s jock and every girl swoons over him and would die just to date him. I don’t know If I’m lucky or what, but I must confess that I am one of those.

It’s a cloudy afternoon when I decided to watch one of Vincent’s practices in the field. I tagged along two of my best girl friends so I will have some back ups. I know this is now the right time to muster enough guts to talk to him. After all, the party of the year is just a few weeks away and I have already envisioned myself entering the venue with him by my side. I know that sounds a bit ambitious but I think it’s just about time to show him what I’m made of. What Eunice wants, Eunice gets.

The moment I saw him walking towards my way, I can feel how my body stiffened and how I felt the urge to throw up and just pass away. Good thing I brought along my two best cheer leaders. I slowly walked towards him as I put my sweetest smile as I introduced myself to him. “I know” was all he said, and then gave a quick smile and fled with the other jocks. My world was crushed down into pieces. The ultimate love of my life can’t even give me a second of his time. But hey, at least he knows my name. I exist in his vocabulary and that already counts. Although I know I need to work harder to get him notice me. And the next time we meet, I bloody swear, he’ll never leave me again, ever.

The party was in the house of one of the popular girls in school. I was wearing my best dress and even had my hair and make up done. Tonight, Vincent will surely notice me, and he did. Surprisingly, he even invited me over their house and everything happened so fast. In just a blink of an eye, people started noticing me, girls even started hating me. All just because I have with me the school’s most popular guy. Everything changed; it was a dream come true. But everything also changed when my monthly period was delayed.

After one of our classes, I look all over the school for Vincent, only to find him in the field flirting with some other girls in our school. “Excuse me, can you just give us second?” I pulled Vincent away from the girls who scampered away. “Hi, what’s the matter” he asks casually as he fixes his hair. “I’m pregnant!” I tell him straightforwardly. “You’re what?!” He repeats his question again as though I have uttered the silliest joke in the world. “I am pregnant. I did a pregnancy test and I even consulted two doctors just to confirm. And I am. It’s 2 weeks old.”

Vincent stared at me for a long minute then shook his head. “I am not the father of that. Who knows, that might be someone else’s child. Who knows, you might have cheated on me.” “How dare you say that to me?!” I shouted feeling all my blood rising and my hands trembling. “I’m sorry but I’m not going to take any responsibility for that. Go find a father for your child, but not me.” Then he quickly walked away to get his things and catch up with the guys.

It’s a gloomy day, rain started pouring down and I don’t even mind. I looked at Vincent until he vanished from my sight. I walked home all drenched and head straightly to my room. I cried and did not eat dinner that night. I even skipped my classes the following days telling my parents I was feeling ill. Then one night during our usual dinners, I finally decided to spill the beans.

“Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant.” I silently uttered while we were in the middle of laughing over the antics I usually does when I was still a child. Both of them stopped eating and stared at me silently. I can feel the tension in the air while I look at them anticipating for some answer, but my father just stood up while my mother followed after him.

That was the last time I have eaten dinner with them. They have disowned me since that night. I tried calling my friends to let me stay over their houses even for the mean time while I find some place to stay, but they refused to for the reason that their parents won’t allow them thinking that I am setting a bad example for their children.

I am currently working as a cashier in a little convenience store in a small town away from home. I decided to keep the baby and I need to work hard to keep us alive. I have two jobs. I do dishwashing in the morning at a restaurant two kilometers away from my stinking little apartment, while I go to the store from eight in the evening till midnight. I know what I’m doing is risky for me and my pregnancy, but I need my jobs to pay the rent, bills and for my food. I have never imagined life would be this hard. Especially for a young girl like me who should still be in school and inside the classroom. But instead I’m here in this convenience store working my tail off. I missed my once wrapped in cotton wool life but I need to show them I can make it.

“Eunice, you haven’t paid the rent for thee months already, if you can’t give me the full payment tomorrow, then I’m afraid you may need to find a new place to stay.” Adelaide, our landlady, warned when she saw me one night arrived from work.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I don’t know where on earth will I produce money to pay my three months rent. The last time I made cash advances, my employers told me that that would be the last time already because I have made so many cash advancements ever since I get in the job. I thought of going back home but I can’t for fear of rejection for the second time. I cried myself to sleep that night, still not having answers to all my problems.

The next day after my shift, I decided to walk my way home, notwithstanding the chilly weather outside. My feet were heavy as I padded along the cold December night. But still I could feel the hot tears trickling down my face. I stopped and sat on the sidewalk as I sobbed all the pains I am feeling. The rain started to pour and so are my tears. Then all of a sudden, I felt a hand on my shoulder, as I glanced up, I saw my father’s face, smiling. And although it’s raining, I can see he was also crying.

“Let’s go home now my little lamb.” He finally said. “We’ve been waiting and searching for you since you left.” With that, I stood up and hugged him, and after so many months, I felt again the feeling of being secured.

The night was getting deeper as I trudged along the dark alley leading to the apartment. The misty air and the stillness of the night bring back memories of the past. Memories that I have put on the back burner for a long time now. Memories that served as an envenom that is slowly killing and eating me wholly. Then rain drops started falling and before I knew it, thoughts kept flooding rapidly together with the rain. Then a small hand suddenly tugs me. “Come on mommy, it’s already raining, let’s get inside the car. Why do we always go in this place every year anyway? Then all you do is just look at that dirty little apartment over there” Marguerite, my daughter, inquisitively asks. “Nothing, let’s go now, I’ll explain it to you someday.”